Five Ingredient Slow Cooker Salsa Chicken Bowls

Five Ingredient Slow Cooker Salsa Chicken Bowls

Okay, I HAVE to tell you guys this story from yesterday.  So I’m walking the dog on Monday after I got home from a wellness event.  It was about 2:30pm, we just went around the block since she had been kenneled since 7am.  We come to the end of our walk and enter our neighborhood when out of nowhere.

nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah BATMAN!!!!!!

This black mustang with the batman logo on the side of it goes whizzing by.

I look at the dog (like she can respond) look back at the car driving away and look at the dog again (again no response.)  I think about snap chatting it but can’t find the words, I’m confused.  Then I think to myself, alright man, you do you.  All kinds of scenarios are running in my head, maybe it’s a side job, maybe he loves comics, and maybe it’s just his thing.

As I’m typing this, it occurs to me it could be a Halloween thing (insert eye roll.) My least favorite holiday – gross candy, corn mazes, and scary movies, no thank you, hard pass.  I hate being scared, and I hate buying candy just to give it away to adults holding an open pillowcase and an infant dressed in a onesie “costume” who is not even old enough to know what’s going on.

Or worse, teenagers with a happy face painted on their shirt. I mean, come on, for real?  If you are 14 going on 4 at least dress up in a manner which earns you free candy.  It was much better in college when it was an excuse to dress inappropriately and party hardy.  Now it’s just annoying.  Back to the walk…

So I turn the corner and the batmobile is stopped at the mailbox.  The guy then proceeds to get out of his car and takes a huge drag off his cigarette, then as if to add insult to injury he tosses his cigarette butt still burning, into the street!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now I’m standing there enraged, mouth open gaping and staring.  I mean, (&(^(*^(!)!!, I have so many things I could say about that.  Starting with:

  1. You plastered your car with a SUPERHERO logo, CHILDREN ARE WATCHING you inconsiderate jerk.
  2. DON’T SH!$ WHERE YOU LIVE! Why would you throw that out in the middle of the street to poison the earth and neighborhood?!?!
  3. Said cigarette was still half there, refer back to point one for influencing children.
  4. It’s Arizona, it’s DRY, fires happen all the time. UGH.

I don’t even have kids and I’m angry.  As the saying goes, it takes a village to raise a child.  It is up to all of us to respect their innocence you know?  Look I’m not saying everything has to be PG all the time.

I’m just saying, you think a grown man would know better than to plaster a superhero logo to the side of his car then proceed to act like a gross moron.  Ugh.

Okay, I’m done, thanks for listening.

Five Ingredient Slow Cooker Salsa Chicken Bowls

Now let’s talk about these five-ingredient Slow Cooker Chicken Mexican Bowls.  PS I’m not counting optional toppings or cooking oil, if you want to count it, then it’s 6-8 ingredients, it doesn’t matter because it’s still super easy. This whole meal basically started in the freezer.

I pulled frozen chicken breast out and threw it in the slow cooker.  I also pulled out a batch of the best homemade refried beans from the freezer and used frozen cauliflower rice.  So after the chicken was done these bowls came together really easily, minus my five million attempts at the Avocado Rose.

My avocado was not firm, therefore said flower kept smashing.  Whoops.  Oh well, at least I didn’t plaster my car with a Disney princess then get out of it smoking and littering simultaneously in public.

I now get ALL my meat and poultry from Butcher Box.  The taste and quality are absolutely unbeatable.  Get $10 off your first box and FREE uncured all natural bacon using my link, here!

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Five Ingredient Slow Cooker Salsa Chicken Bowls

Questions of the day:

Halloween? Love or Hate it?  

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen recently?  

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